We’re Doing It All Wrong
How many times have you rushed through Modeh Ani in the morning? You barely open your eyes, mumble the words, and before you know it, you’re scrolling your phone or racing into the chaos of the day. It’s automatic—just something to check off the list.
I’ve been there. For years, I said Modeh Ani and many other parts of tefillah by rote. I didn’t understand the deeper meaning behind the words or even the basic translation of some of them. My prayers often felt like a mechanical task rather than a meaningful connection with Hashem.
But here’s the thing: even when I wasn’t fully connected, those actions mattered. They were building something inside me—a foundation that I didn’t even realize was there.
Saying It By Rote: My Personal Journey
Growing up with dyslexia, reading has always been a struggle for me. I’m not a fast reader, and for years, tefillah felt daunting. It took me a long time to build myself up to the amount of praying I do now, which includes saying Tehillim and other additional tefillot regularly on top of the 3 regular tefillot each day.
If I had decided back then that since I didn’t fully understand the words or couldn’t say them with intention, I shouldn’t say them at all, I would have been starting from zero when things finally began to “click” for me. Instead, I kept saying the words, even when they felt empty. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was lighting a pilot light in my neshama—a small but steady flame that was ready to ignite when I was ready to grow.
Now, I’m far from perfect, but when I look back, I realize how much farther behind I’d be if I had given up. Because I practiced saying the words over and over, and i went through the motions, I had a foundation to build on. When the time came to infuse those words with kavana (intention), they were already a familiar part of me. And that has made all the difference.
The Fire Inside: “Mitoch Shelo Lishma, Ba Lishma”
The concept of doing things by rote isn’t just about persistence—it’s about recognizing the deeper truth behind our actions. Chazal teach us, “Mitoch shelo lishma, ba lishma”—when we do something without the right intentions, it will eventually lead to doing it with intention.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe took this idea even further. He explained that the word mitoch doesn’t just mean “from,” but “within.” Even when we’re doing something “not for the right reasons,” deep within us, we’re actually doing it for the right reasons. Inside every action, even one done by rote, is a spark of genuine connection waiting to be uncovered.
Think of it like this: when you say Modeh Ani in the morning, even if it feels automatic, there’s a part of your soul that is fully present and connected. That’s the fire inside you—the pilot light that keeps burning, ready to grow into something greater.
The Lesson of Children in Shul
This idea is so beautifully illustrated in how we raise our children. When we teach kids to say Modeh Ani, brachot, or even bring them to shul, we don’t expect them to fully understand what’s happening. They might come to shul just to get a candy from the candy man, kiss the Torah, or collect candies at a bar mitzvah.
As they get older, they might step inside for Kaddish, Barchu, or Kedusha. These moments of familiarity build a foundation, even if they’re not actively participating. When the time comes for them to take it seriously, they already know the words, the rhythm, and the environment. The light is already burning inside them.
I’ve seen the other side of this too. At bar mitzvahs, it’s not uncommon to see kids invited to shul for the first time, looking lost and out of place. They don’t know the prayers or the customs, and they feel like outsiders. That’s what happens when the foundation isn’t there.
For my own children, I want them to grow up with the familiarity and warmth of shul. Even if they’re not ready to stay inside the whole time or fully participate, I know that every small interaction—whether it’s kissing the Torah, seeing people davening or hearing Kedusha—is building something lasting inside them.
Why Gratitude Is the Foundation
Gratitude works the same way. Starting your day with Modeh Ani, even when it feels rote, keeps the connection with Hashem alive. It trains you to see the world through a lens of appreciation, even if you’re not actively feeling it in the moment. And when the time comes to deepen that gratitude, the foundation is already there.
Gratitude isn’t just about saying thank you—it’s about living thank you. It’s about recognizing that every moment, every breath, is a gift from Hashem.
Practical Steps to Build Gratitude
Here’s how you can take these ideas and start Living the Dream today:
- Pause During Modeh Ani
Tomorrow morning, take an extra ten seconds to reflect on one specific thing you’re grateful for. Let that gratitude set the tone for your day. - Gratitude Journaling
Write down three things you’re thankful for each night before bed. Over time, this practice will train your mind to focus on the blessings in your life. - Join the 4-Minute Gratitude Program
Ready to make gratitude a daily habit? The 4-Minute Gratitude Program offers simple yet powerful prompts and reflections to help you see the blessings all around you, deepen your connection with Hashem, and start living the dream every day.
The Dream Is Within Reach
Every small act of gratitude, every word of tefillah said by rote, is a step on the path to connection. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about showing up. Because even when you’re just going through the motions, you’re building something powerful inside you.
Living the dream isn’t about waiting for the perfect moment. It’s about lighting the flame today. Are you ready to take that step?
It’s Time to Turn Up the Flame
Having the foundation is essential—it’s what keeps the pilot light of your neshama burning. But if you’re reading this, it’s time to take the next step.
Let’s turn up the flame.
Whatever you’ve been doing until now—whether it’s saying Modeh Ani, davening, or expressing gratitude—let’s heat things up. Add intention. Bring your words and actions to life. Don’t just say Modeh Ani—live it. Feel the gratitude in your heart, let it shine in your actions, and light your soul on fire.
When we infuse meaning and emotion into what we do, our connection to Hashem becomes vibrant and alive. The pilot light that’s been flickering quietly can burst into a powerful flame, filling our lives with warmth, purpose, and light.
Now is the time. Let’s turn up the heat and transform our actions, words, and souls into something extraordinary.
Your Next Step: Share the Fire
This is just the beginning of a journey we’re on together. Each week, I’ll share more insights, activities, exercises, and challenges to help you connect with Hashem, live with gratitude, and turn your foundation into a blazing fire.
By subscribing to my newsletter, you’ll not only stay inspired—you’ll be the first to find out about new programs, resources, and tools I’m creating to help you live the dream.
If this article spoke to you, I invite you to do two things:
- Share this article with someone who could benefit from it. Let’s spread the light and inspire others to turn up their flame.
- Subscribe to my newsletter for weekly inspiration, challenges, and practical tools to deepen your connection with Hashem and transform your life.
Together, we can light up the world, one neshama at a time. Let’s make this the week we turn up the flame.
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