A while ago, I saw this video of a couple humorously bragging about how smart their kids are.

The joke? No matter what wisdom they tried to share, the kids would immediately respond, “I know.”

The father consults multi-million dollar companies. The mother is an expert in her field. But to their kids? They’re clueless.

The couple laughed through examples, then raised a toast to each other: “To the greatest parents alive—our kids already know everything!”

It was hilarious… because it was so relatable.

As a parent of teens — and a former teen myself — I couldn’t help but laugh. But it also got me thinking.

We all go through stages of growth. And at each stage, our view of our parents changes.

When we’re little, we adore them. We depend on them for everything. They are our entire world.

Then we grow up a little, and they’re still amazing — but now we start wanting independence. We test boundaries. We want more.

And then comes the teenage phase. You know, when your parents suddenly seem like they just don’t get it. They don’t get it. They don’t get you. They just say no to everything.

Eventually, life humbles us. We go through real experiences. Work. Marriage. Raising kids. Facing uncertainty. And suddenly we realize:

Turns out, they knew a lot more than we gave them credit for.

We start to appreciate their sacrifices. Their wisdom. The way they always had our back.

And that’s when I realized:

Our relationship with Hashem goes through the exact same stages.

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Bitachon: The Maturity of the Soul

When we’re spiritually young, we might believe in Hashem, but we don’t really trust Him.

We were raised in a world that teaches self-reliance: Go to school, work hard, build your future.

Society doesn’t talk about Hashem. Your news feed doesn’t mention Him. Your success is measured in hustle, not in faith.

So what happens?

We live like it’s all on us.

Even when we believe in Hashem intellectually, we live like He’s on standby — break glass in case of emergency. We do our part and only call Him in when we feel stuck.

But here’s the catch:

That’s not bitachon. That’s spiritual adolescence.

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Just Like a Teenager

A teen thinks they know everything. They want control. They crave independence.

They look at their parents like relics of a world that doesn’t understand them.

But maturity changes things. As we grow, we begin to realize how much we didn’t know. We see that our parents were guiding us, protecting us, supporting us — even when we fought it.

The same is true with Hashem.

When you live without bitachon, it feels like life is up to you. Your success is your effort. Your struggles are yours to fix. Hashem is in the background.

But that’s not how the world really works.

Bitachon is the awareness that Hashem is the one behind everything. Always. Even when it doesn’t make sense. Especially when it doesn’t make sense.

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Why Some People Never Leave the Teenage Phase

Here’s the hard truth: Some people never grow up.

They stay spiritually stuck in the teenage mindset:

• “I know.”
• “I got this.”
• “No one tells me what to do.”

And in a way, it makes sense. Being a teen has perks. You get more independence, less responsibility. You feel free.

A lot of people live their whole lives with that illusion of control. And it feels good… until it doesn’t.

But at some point, life humbles you. The plan falls apart. The results don’t match the effort. The things you counted on vanish.

And maybe that’s when you start to notice Hashem calling.

It’s not when He starts calling — it’s when you start noticing.

At first, it’s quiet. But if you don’t listen, He calls louder. And louder.

Until you can’t ignore it anymore.

If you’ve felt stuck… if you’ve been trying to control everything and it’s just not working — maybe this is your wake-up call. Not to do more. But to let go. To trust deeper. To grow.

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Growing Into Bitachon

Just like you can’t understand multiplication or division without knowing addition and subtraction… And you can’t grasp addition and subtraction if you don’t even know numbers…

You can’t grasp deep bitachon without going through the earlier stages.

If someone is still spiritually immature, trying to explain that “Hashem is doing everything” can feel crazy to them. They might reject it outright — not because it’s false, but because it’s too far from where they are.

And that’s part of the journey.

You need to grow into bitachon. Each stage builds on the one before it. You have to shatter the glass again and again to level up.

And it doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when you’re willing to grow. To look in the mirror and say: Maybe there’s more I haven’t seen yet.

Some people wake up and move on to the next level. But many stay stuck. Not because they can’t — but because they don’t want to.

The teenage phase is fun. You feel in control. You feel free.

But real freedom isn’t doing everything your way. It’s trusting Hashem’s way.

And that takes maturity.

Growth doesn’t mean flipping a switch. It starts small. Maybe it’s pausing before making a decision and asking, “Hashem, what is Your ratzon?” Maybe it’s trusting that the delay in your plans is actually divine. Maybe it’s choosing peace over panic, just once.

Every time you make space for Hashem in your thoughts and choices — you grow.

And when you grow, life gets lighter. You stop carrying so much. You start seeing blessings in the struggle. You feel held.

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Personal Story

I’ve mentioned this before, and it’s worth mentioning again. Partly to drill it into myself. And partly because you may go or have gone through your own version of it.

I grew up believing in Hashem, but not that He played an active role in my life.

I was taught: work hard, get good grades, push yourself.

I wasn’t great in school. Not with tests, not with class participation — and somehow, I always seemed to get in trouble. Often for things that weren’t even my fault.

So I’d turn to Hashem.

“Help me not fail this test.” “Help me not get suspended.”

Hashem was there, sure. But He was behind glass. Break in case of emergency.

And I did. Plenty of times.

I would ask for the minimum help I thought I needed. But the truth is, even then, Hashem was doing so much more.

It didn’t all change while I was in school. It happened over years. Through pain. Through growth. Through experiences that shook me.

Eventually, I started to see the truth:

I can’t do this alone.

And I was never meant to.

We say in Shemoneh Esrei: Melech ozer, u’moshiah, u’magen.

Hashem helps. Hashem saves. And Hashem protects. Even when we don’t see it. Even when we’re walking in the wrong direction.

That’s what it means to be Magen Avraham. Avraham was the Ivri — he stood on the other side of society. He followed Hashem against the current, against logic, against nature.

And Hashem protected him. Because when you live for Hashem, Hashem carries you through.

I’ve broken the glass so many times. And each time, I grew.

Not instantly. Not overnight. It took years. Real challenges. Humbling moments. But eventually, I’d reach the next stage. And when I got there, I could look back and smile at how clueless I was before.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not done. I’m still growing. Still breaking glass.

But now I see it as Hashem being my coach. Pushing me because He knows I have more in me. Because He believes in me.

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Final Words

There’s a saying: When we were young and foolish…

As we mature, we look back and realize how off we were. We see what was always there. We just couldn’t see it yet.

And that’s what bitachon really is:

The maturity of the soul.

It’s choosing to trust even when you don’t understand. It’s realizing you don’t have to carry it all. It’s knowing that Hashem sees what you don’t. And loves you more than you know.

So the next time life doesn’t go your way… Instead of saying, “I know,” Try saying, “I trust.”

Because your Father? He’s got you.

If you’re ready to move forward — to get past the stuckness and finally feel that Hashem has your back — I made something for you…

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