Lessons From Kids

I absolutely love my kids. Each one of them is unique, with their own special qualities and personality quirks that bring so much joy to my life.

Some of the younger ones are particularly eager to help out at times, around the house. They take their “job” very seriously, creating detailed schedules and chore charts, complete with adorable little drawings and checkboxes to mark off tasks once they’re done.

They’re so excited to hang these charts on their bedroom doors or the fridge, proudly displaying their efforts and keeping everything visible and organized.

When I look at these charts, I’m hit with a wave of emotions. I chuckle softly because, honestly, their understanding of what needs to get done and how, is still pretty limited.

But I also smile with genuine happiness. I’m thrilled to see their enthusiasm for contributing and learning responsibility.

More than anything, I’m filled with a deep sense of pride. I’m watching my kids take initiative, building habits that will shape them into responsible and considerate people.

My wife and I try to make a point to praise their efforts and help them hang up their charts. Sometimes, my wife will even add some extra cute images to represent each chore, making the whole process even more fun.

Yet, when we look at these charts, we know that we see things a little differently. As parents, we have more experience and a broader understanding of what needs to happen, and we make our own plans accordingly.

Man Plans, and Hashem Smiles

There’s a Yiddish saying that goes, “Man plans, and Hashem laughs.” I used to feel a little uncomfortable with the idea of Hashem laughing at our plans, but now I get it.

It’s not a mocking laugh; it’s more like the way I smile when I see my kids’ chore charts. Hashem loves us more than we can imagine and knows exactly what we need—even when it’s not what we think we need.

As Shlomo HaMelech writes in Mishlei: “The heart of man plans his way, but Hashem directs his steps” (Mishlei 16:9). We’re supposed to make an effort, to do our best to create a path forward, but Hashem is the one who ultimately guides our every step.

Elul: Time to Step Up Our Game

This realization has been especially meaningful during this season of Elul and the Aseret Yemei Teshuva. It’s such a powerful time for self-reflection and growth. It’s a time to daven more, learn more, and push ourselves to improve.

Since starting my journey to create and share more content, I’ve gone way out of my comfort zone and accomplished quite a bit: building courses, posting videos, writing blog posts, and sharing thoughts on social media.

I’ve also been working on my davening and learning, saying more special Tefilot and Tehillim, and deepening my Bitachon.

When Hashem Has Other Plans

And then I got sick. First, it was a cold, which morphed into something else. I recovered a bit, only to catch another virus. It completely derailed my plans.

My goal for the Aseret Yemei Teshuva was to take everything to the next level—more davening, more learning, more content creation. But Hashem had other plans.

There were days when I couldn’t do anything. I would sit down to learn or work, and I’d find myself staring blankly at the screen or my gemara, unable to muster even a fraction of the energy I usually have. It felt awful. I’d planned to accomplish so much, yet I was barely able to get out of bed.

But that’s when a couple of important lessons started to really resonate with me—lessons that I knew on an intellectual level, but obviously needed more work to internalize.

Lesson 1: Hashem Doesn’t Judge Us on Our Results

We’re responsible for putting in the effort, for showing up and trying our best. But the outcomes? That’s all in Hashem’s hands.

Each day that I was sick, I struggled through Tefilla, learning, and even basic tasks. But I still showed up.

Just like I wouldn’t expect the same result from my three-year-old and my ten-year-old when I ask them to do a chore, Hashem doesn’t expect the same from us when we’re under different circumstances. Our job is to put in the effort; the results are up to Him. 

We can’t compare ourselves to our peers and we can’t even compare ourselves when we are sick to when we are healthy.

The Shaar HaBitachon in Chovot HaLevavot explains this even further. True bitachon means trusting that everything Hashem does is for our ultimate good, even when our plans don’t work out.

We push ourselves to daven more, to learn more, and to do more mitzvot, especially during these days. But we have to remember that our success isn’t measured by what we accomplish—rather, by our willingness to show up and try, despite the obstacles.

Lesson 2: We Can Always Push Ourselves a Little Harder

Each morning, waking up sick and achy, I’d debate whether I should even try to get up and go daven or learn. Maybe I should just rest a little longer. But I pushed myself.

I won most of the battles and lost a few, but each time, I realized something profound. If I can do this when I’m sick, what’s stopping me from doing even more when I’m healthy?

These lessons reminded me of how much more we can achieve when we push through our own limitations. They taught me that while we should never judge our success by the world’s standards, we should also not become complacent.

When we’re willing to put in the effort, even if it’s a fraction of what we planned, it’s still precious in Hashem’s eyes.

Applying These Lessons Daily

In the end, just like my kids with their chore charts, we each have our own version of what we think our days should look like. But Hashem, in His infinite wisdom, sees things from a much broader perspective. He loves us, guides us, and helps us grow—whether or not things go according to our plan.

The key is to keep trusting and keep trying, knowing that our Father in Heaven is always with us, leading us in the best direction, one step at a time.

As we navigate through the ups and downs of life, let’s remember to keep showing up, doing our best, and trusting in Hashem’s plan.

What’s one area where you can push yourself a little harder or let go and trust more?

Share your thoughts in the comments—let’s inspire each other to keep growing together! And if you’d like to join me on this journey of Living the Dream, make sure to subscribe and follow me on social media (links in top/bottom right corner) for more insights, stories, and Torah wisdom.

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