Chayei Sarah – Becoming Someone Who Can Laugh at the End

Chayei Sarah opens with the words “Vayihyu chayei Sarah…” — and Chazal point us to something extraordinary.

The Chasam Sofer, based on the pasuk “Yodeia Hashem yemei temimim…” (Tehillim 37:18), explains that the lives of the temimim, those who walk with wholehearted trust, are considered complete and good from beginning to end. Even when the journey is full of pain, uncertainty, or longing — every part is somehow part of a perfect whole.

But how does that make sense?

Sarah’s life was filled with difficulty: years of infertility, wandering from place to place, tests that would break most people. Yet Rashi says “kulan shavin l’tovah” — all 127 years were equally good.

How can that be true?
She grew. She struggled. She changed. Isn’t growth the whole point?

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In Torah, a life is measured from the end backward

The world celebrates beginnings — birthdays, first steps, exciting starts. But a birthday is just potential. You still don’t know what the person will become.

A yahrzeit is different. That’s when you can finally look at who they became — the choices, the battles, the inner work, the victories no one else ever saw.

It’s like a running a marathon. No one celebrates when they start.
You celebrate when you finish — mission accomplished.

So when Sarah Imeinu leaves this world, Chazal say Avraham eulogizes her with Eishes Chayil. And one line stands out:

“Oz v’hadar levusha — v’tischak l’yom acharon.”
She laughs on her final day.

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Why laugh?

Because on the last day, you finally see the whole picture.

All the tears.
All the waiting.
All the prayers that seemed unanswered.
All the confusion that made no sense at the time…

Suddenly it aligns.
What looked like chaos becomes design.
What looked like obstacles become stepping stones.
What felt random becomes purposeful.

And when a person sees that — they can smile. They can even laugh.

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But here’s the message for us

The only day that defines a person is the last one —
but every day before it is what builds that person.

Every frustration.
Every nisayon.
Every quiet act of emunah when no one is watching.
Every moment you choose growth over comfort.

It all counts.
It all shapes you.

This is hinted to in Bereishit. The Torah doesn’t call Day One “Yom Rishon.”
It calls it “Yom Echad.”

One day — meaning everything in it, the light and the darkness, forms one unified whole.

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Life is exactly the same

The ups and downs.
The small wins and painful failures.
The days we feel connected and the days we feel lost.

In the end, they all merge into one story, one mission, one beautiful tapestry.

When Sarah reached her final day, she reached wholeness — and once whole, Hashem looked back and said: it was all good. Every piece.

And the same is true for you.

We don’t see the full picture yet. We don’t always understand the season we’re in. But if we keep walking, keep trusting, keep showing up every day — then one day, we’ll look back and see the masterpiece Hashem was weaving through every moment.

And on our “yom acharon,” we’ll be able to look back on our messy, beautiful, imperfect journey…
and laugh with the deepest joy — just like Sarah Imeinu.